Tirico Suave

OK, let’s break down FOX’s latest gaffe from the Yankees’ parade. This one deals with World Series MVP Hideki Matsui and the fact that he’s — gasp — Japanese!

Six-second mark: Fox’s waspy reporter gets a glimpse of Hideki Matsui. His discovery and ensuing yelp is akin to Steve Irwin stumbling upon on a python/crocodile orgy. [...]

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FOX News is reporting live all day from the Yankees’ World Series parade in Manhattan.
Per usual, the coverage is absolutely hilarious.
And we can thank bubbly “reporter” Rosanna Scotto for this dose of humor.

Now, let’s break that clip down.
Scotto, paired up with some faceless wasp, summed up the excitement of seeing the deep-pocketed ballplayers arrive. She [...]

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Via hard-hitting journalist Rickey Reilly:
Swisher, who does not seem to need sleep, has been known to drag players to his favorite karaoke bar, where he sings a terrific version of Kings of Leon’s “Use Somebody.”
Like Nick Swisher and the Yankees, Kings of Leon hold a hollow place in America’s blackened heart.
Is that not perfect?

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Contrary to popular belief, Yankees pitcher CC Sabathia is not the hoofed mammal that everyone craves him to be.
Not surprisingly, Mr. A-ROTIC kicked off the horsey talk after last night’s victory over the Angels.
Via Harvey’s favorite columnist:
“You know, CC gets loose after 90 pitches,” Yankees’ third baseman Alex Rodriguez said. “He’s a horse. He’s a [...]

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It’s ok kid, watching the Yankees win makes me feel the exact same way. It looks as if all of us non-partisan baseball fans who like to fight the good fight against all things awful are going to be faced with a frightfully harrowing decision in the very near future. I think I might just [...]

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And once more for good measure

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With the losses mounting by the day, Yankees outfielder Nick Swisher’s perceived personality has gone from “hard-working quirskter” to “insolent poser.”
In response, manager Joe Girardi is aiming to sign renowned New York cabbie Travis Bickle. The plan is to curb Swisher and insert Bickle as the team’s No. 1 distraction-veiled-as-an-oddball.
“Travis’ discipline is only rivaled by [...]

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Who said Hank wasn’t sadistic like Daddy?

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Yankees relief pitcher Jose Veras got crossed up with Jose Molina last night against Texas. Molina was looking for a breaking ball and Veras threw a heat-seeking fastball.
The result?
Roasted Nuts.
Yup, he took it right in the catcher-creator.
Evidence, amateur porn, below.

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