Tirico Suave

In an amazing turn of events, I have momentarily refocused my limitless Cedric-Benson-anger on recently released running back Tatum Bell. From Profootballtalk.com:
A strange thing happened to running back Rudi Johnson when he visited with the Detroit Lions on Monday. Someone stole his stuff. Seriously. Specifically, and as we’re told by a reliable source (i.e., not [...]

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Note to self: Do not share with Craig Sager any juicy gossip about my indiscretions with famous actresses.

Hat Tip: Awful Announcing

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If I ever manage to dislocate my elbow attempting to snatch 148kg on national television, which will never happen because my Butler Geoffrey does all the heavy lifting, please don’t cover me up with branded signs. I can’t imagine this poor Hungarian guy, mid-Theismann, saying to himself, “I really hope a bunch of Chinese dudes [...]

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I like AOL FanHouse, so I didn’t care much to see them take undue heat from total outsiders regarding their most recent promotion in which they used extremely knowledgeable, yet unfunny girls, to advertise their product. Sure, the ladies looked like unibrowless Fridas (Gross), but they read off cue cards and told me things I [...]

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Close your eyes and imagine Walter Sobchak as a Yankees fan. That’s who I sat behind last night at the Coliseum while taking in the Yankees/A’s game. This guy was also a rabid Raiders fan, and on several occasions, discussed his displeasure with owner Al Davis. Here’s how that conversation went:
Sobchak: I can’t wait for [...]

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Someone needs to tell Jason Giambi that you can’t be your own Slumpbuster. In a recent Conde Nast Portfolio article, Giambi claims to wear a gold lamé, tiger-stripe thong when he’s not hitting. I claim this cuts down on seeing panty lines through his uniform. Wait, what? Damn you, Jason Giambi, damn you. What happened [...]

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Want to have a potato sack race, son? Only the bag is plastic and I’m going to put it over your head. Go! Courtesy of Rotoworld:
Free agent DL Darrion Scott was formally charged today for allegedly assaulting his son last week. Scott will face two felony charges and one misdemeanor charge. The boy’s mother allegedly [...]

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According to the New York Daily News, Philip Hughes will be sporting some new eyewear when he returns to the mound. Exclusive to TiricoSuave.com, the conversation that led to the discovery of Hughes’ eye problems.
GIRARDI
Now, there are a lotta pitchers that
started out wild and, after workin’
it out in the minors, for a while,
went on to [...]

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I just watched one of the worst movies of all time, Cat People. It was made in 1982 and stars Nastassja Kinski and Malcolm McDowell as, you guessed, Cat People (Best movie title since Body Bags 2). It also stars Ed Begley Jr., who gets his arm chewed off while singing “What’s new pusscat?”. Anyway, [...]

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Typical. Boy eats two double cheeseburgers and large fries for $4.24. Boy throws empty McDonalds bag onto floor in disgust. Boy falls into post fast food catatonic state, stands up 90 minutes later and banana peels himself on empty McDonalds bag, falling through TV screen and entertainment center. From NFL.com:
“I want to thank everybody for [...]

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