Tirico Suave

Looks like dead dolphin meat is already on the menu in NJ.

A striped dolphin found stranded on a Raritan Bay beach early yesterday has died.

Consider it an appetizer.
And for dessert, we stab Pennington fans!

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Here’s a quick rundown of how Sean Ellis saved the Jets’ season against Buffalo.
Buffalo head coach Dick Jauron, looking for a Top 15 pick, put the ball in Just Putrid’s hands. JP rolled out and was assaulted by safety Abram Elam, who was hunting the putrid stench from the backside on a blitz.
Elam dislodged the [...]

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After sacking quarterback Chad Pennington in the first game of the season against Miami, Shaun Ellis broke out the Crane Kick. It was an interesting choice of celebration, eliciting laughs and a few Mr. Miyagi impressions.
Now, it all makes sense.

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According to the NY Post, an anonymous New York Jet accused the Patriots defense of having a nasty case of old-man-ass.
One Jets offensive player, who spoke under the condition of anonymity because he didn’t want to provide bulletin board fodder for the Patriots, talked about being “sick to our stomachs” about the Jets’ 19-10 loss [...]

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New York Jets safety Eric Smith one-upped folksy prankster Brett Favre on Thursday, leaving a human spine in kicker Mike Nugent’s locker.
Smith, who was suspended one game and fined $50,000 after breaking Anquan Boldin’s snot bone in Week 4, said it was more of a statement than a joke.
“Mike lost his spine down in Miami, [...]

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News of Weezy blogging for ESPN is stale.
However, being a major promoter of his music — here, here, here and here — I felt it was finally time to chime in.
The blog, unlike the music, doesn’t make me gyrate my hips like a cross-hatched James-Elvis-Brown. In other words, it’s not required reading.
Still, I’m willing to [...]

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T-I-T-S TITS! TITS! TITS!
Relax, big boy.
That ship has shown its bow and passed.
While Kurt Warner spent halftime of Sunday’s game popping Eucharists like Favre on a barbiturate bender, I visited the imprisoned remains of New York’s last beacon of public hedonism.
After peering down into the well of tits-gone-by, I actually got a little sad.
Who — [...]

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Walking into the Jets vs. Pats game two weeks ago, I had an unfortunate accident.
It was around 3:50 p.m., and my father and I were traveling upward on the escalator-to-hell toward the 300-level.
There were thousands of Joeys from Staten Island and Francos from Flushing harassing Pats fans, proclaiming, “WE FUCKING GOT IT THIS YEAR, CHEATAHS! [...]

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Where did you learn of these magical “Favre-tini” cocktails, exactly?
Come out of the shadows, Terry.
We know you are scavenging around here somewhere, nibbling at The Suave’s bountiful tit.

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According to a Jets brochure, pleasantly plump female fans will be sporting Strahan jerseys at the new stadium in 2010.
Though they haven’t been substantiated, there are also rumors that Lawrence Taylor will come out of retirement to deal coke to the Wall Street boyz in the Coaches Club seats.
(HT): Jetnation

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