Tirico Suave

Where There’s Always Plenty Of Schadenfraude To Go Around

Tirico Suave

Entries Tagged as 'NFL'

Charles Rogers, Montreal Alouette?

May 9th, 2008 · 7 Comments

A quote from Alouette GM Jim Popp from this article:
“I would say there’s about an 80-20 chance of him being at training camp, coming in and competing for a job. It’s not completed yet, but he can come in as a CFL rookie and we’ll make an assessment of him, where he’s at in his [...]

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Tags: Charles Rogers · Detroit Lions · Harvey Bars · Montreal Alouettes · NFL

Games Suck

May 6th, 2008 · 2 Comments

Want to have a potato sack race, son? Only the bag is plastic and I’m going to put it over your head. Go! Courtesy of Rotoworld:
Free agent DL Darrion Scott was formally charged today for allegedly assaulting his son last week. Scott will face two felony charges and one misdemeanor charge. The boy’s mother allegedly [...]

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Tags: NFL · Roger Dorn · Suffocating Children

35 Year Old Bobby Engram Wants A New Contract

May 6th, 2008 · 2 Comments

“Sure, Bobby, whatever makes you happy. Small bills, ok? Do you have an offshore account we could direct deposit this in right this minute? Perhaps you’d accept an open-ended hedge fund for your troubles. One thing’s for certain is that we’d definitely feel better if we were able to lock you up. You’re a big [...]

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Tags: Bobby Engram · Delusions of Grandeur · Harvey Bars · NFL

Marvin Harrison Being Investigated In Bar Shooting…..Wait, What?!?!

May 2nd, 2008 · 1 Comment

Witnesses must have described the suspect as ‘being a perfect teammate’ and ‘running precise, crisp routes’ away from the crime scene. If this does in fact turn out to be true, I will be forced to throw out any preconceived notions I have about any athlete, good or bad. Maybe David Eckstein’s a gang banger. [...]

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Tags: Harvey Bars · Marvin Harrison · NFL

Shaun Alexander And The Bengals Are Currently In The Process Of Kidding One Another

May 1st, 2008 · 5 Comments

Free agent running back Shaun Alexander is in Cincinnati for a visit. As a service to you, please allow me to translate some of the quotes from this article:
“The agent for Shaun Alexander said Thursday that his client is scheduled to visit the Bengals on Monday, but Jim Steiner stressed the visit is “very preliminary.”

“Even [...]

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Tags: Cincinnati Bengals · Harvey Bars · NFL · Shaun Alexander Is Overrated & Doesn't Block

Artose Pinner Is Back!?! Are Super Bowl Tickets On Sale Yet?

May 1st, 2008 · No Comments

Tatum Bell, Brian Calhoun and Aveion Cason better watch their backs because Artose Pinner is a Lion again! Choke on that Olandis Gary and Luke Staley. Pinner’s main job will be to contribute on special teams but have you seen his numbers from Atlanta last year? Five carries for 46 yards! That’s like 19 yards [...]

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Tags: Artose Pinner Wins Championships · Detroit Lions · Harvey Bars · NFL

Ken O’Brien is No Flash Gordon

May 1st, 2008 · 2 Comments

Ming the Merciless really did planet Mongo and his faithful followers a disservice by “skyjacking” Flash Gordon, instead of waiting until 1983 and suck-beaming in perennial loser Ken O’Brien. Unless being on the losing end of some not so memorable contests with Dan Marino is a quality intergalactic quarterback heroes need to posses, there’s [...]

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Tags: Buda Rico · I worked on it · Ken O'Brien Sucks · Movies · NFL · NFL Draft · NY Jets · Video

Fantasy Bust Tyrone Calico Indicted

April 29th, 2008 · No Comments

A Tennessee Grand Jury has indicted Tyrone Calico. Surprisingly, it had nothing to do with a Class Action Lawsuit filed by incensed former fantasy owners. It has something to do with drunk driving or whatnot. How are you 6-4 and run a 4-3 and have career totals of 42 catches for 501 yards and 4 [...]

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Tags: Busts · Excessive Drinking & Driving · NFL · Shakespeare DiMaggio

Lions Draft Kevin Smith

April 28th, 2008 · 1 Comment

I always saw him more as a left guard type but apparently he’s a speedy runner from Central Florida. He probably would have went higher but he had a few character issues, like the fact that he smokes, curses a lot and associates with known heroin users.

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Tags: Detroit Lions · Fire Matt Millen · Harvey Bars · Kevin Smith · NFL · NFL Draft

Gosder Fucking Cherilus

April 26th, 2008 · No Comments

Kill me.

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Tags: Detroit Lions · Fire Matt Millen · Gosder Cherilus · Harvey Bars · NFL · NFL Draft