Tirico Suave

Felix Hernandez, colloquially known as “The King,” was dueling against fellow countryman Johan Santana on Monday evening in the house that beer shits built.
With the bases loaded, The King flushed a Santana fastball deep into the bowels of the opposite field. Felix trotted around the bases all wide eyed and giddy. He looked totally unaware [...]

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The Cleveland Indians have a bullpen ERA of 4.65, good for second to last in the majors. Betancourt was a disaster as a fill-in closer and the tribe is 1-9 in their last ten. Thank god Joe Borowski and his poor man’s Jamie Moyer fastball have returned. I had a fantasy baseball magazine a few [...]

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The Bills waived injured Tight End Kevin Everett on Tuesday. Everett’s injury was obviously career ending, so being placed on waivers allows him to seek long term disability payments as well as an NFL Pension. Good news for Everett, but better news for Tirico Suave, since the mere mention of Everett allows us to post [...]

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You may remember us reporting a few weeks back that Jeff George had drawn interest from over half the league after holding a public workout in Indianapolis. You probably also remember the former #1 pick failing to sign a contract afterwards. The man still has a cannon, but teams may have been turned off [...]

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Despite raking in almost $90 million in box office receipts in the US alone, on a $50 million budget I remind you, Matthew McConaughey’s Failure to Launch walked away from this year’s Oscars empty-handed. Why? Is it because they replaced Robert Duvall with Terry Bradshaw just before filming began? No. If you’ve ever had the [...]

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This game has been around for a while but there’s a 60% chance Semi-Pro may have been spawned from this, so I decided to give it another go around. Here’s the one I forwarded along on to DreamWorks:
Will Ferrell plays Turk Lynch, an egotistical, obnoxious poker shark at the top of his profession. He [...]

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I saw this commercial last night and I thought this guy looked vaguely familiar but having grown up in New Jersey, I know a lot of fat guys with stupid goatees. After searching for the commercial on YouTube, I found out where I recognized him from: it’s motherfucking Donkeylips. Good to see someone from Camp [...]

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The world would be a better place if all elections were decided using a vagina hope meter.

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