Tirico Suave

In honor of the Detroit Lions signing Jason David, I present you with the definitive “Jason David Getting Beat, Run Over Or Just Flat Out Abused” gallery, in reverse chronological order:

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Listen, dickhead, I can only imagine how awful it is to wake every morning, look out your window and see the city of Detroit staring back at you, but seriously, booing the rookie QB already? After eight GODDAMN games, dummy?!!?! Do you think the Millen stink just washes that easily and that all of a [...]

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Sure, my favorite football team has only won two of their last 31 games and just lost to a team that had lost 17 straight games, but goddamn, they can sure as hell light up white guys on special teams. Take that, Danny Amendola!

Via The Big Lead.

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Occasionally the calamity that is the evening news seeps its way onto my tv screen. It’s always the same thing that every marginal 80’s comedian told you about: murderdeathkills, canned deliveries, forced banter. It is is my amateur observation that evening news shows haven’t progressed one bit in the last 15 years. And this piece [...]

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I’m a fan of the Lions head coach for many reasons. He’s a stat geek, he went to Georgetown, he may or may not have left a comment on this site, etc. Sure, he’s not as cool as Mike Tomlin or as badass as Rex Ryan but as it turns out he’s got something on [...]

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You know what’s a favorite pastime of mine? Straw grasping. And with my Lions, winners of one of their last two, hosting the defending champs this weekend, now seems like a good a time as any to try and make myself feel better about the impending blowout with a myriad of sardonic sexual assault jokes. [...]

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You know how mother birds supposedly abandon their young once they’ve come in contact with a human being? Well, I’m not quite there yet after reading this article, but suffice to say I’ll be one sad Lions fan should young Matthew saunter into Ford Field rocking a pair of Wranglers any time over the next [...]

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Jemele Hill forwarded me a short video of her “sit down” with former Lions receiver Charles Rogers.
If Jemele had a cock, she would totally overtake Jeremy Schaap’s role on ESPN.
With that said, enjoy her fine work.

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♫MY NAME IS SCHWARRRRRRRTZ!!!♫
New Lions’ coach Jim Schwartz is an interesting fellow. Ok, so he’s not a badass like Mornhinweg who walked out on practice and rode off on his hog. Few amongst us are that hard. But Schwartz certainly isn’t a tool like Mariucci or a stiff like Bobby Ross. And Gary Moeller can’t [...]

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Via the Detroit News:
Lions season-ticket holder Todd Taylor , who commutes from Chicago to attend Lions home games, and his buddy Jim Allen from Royal Oak were stoked when Taylor won a replica Kevin Smith jersey during the Lions’ draft party at Ford Field.
But something was strange about the No. 34 jersey.
The Smith name [...]

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