Tirico Suave

 It’s as if in the middle of a press conference he suddenly turned to the first camera he saw and said, “LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT’S SATURDAY NIGHT…” as Lane Kiffin smiled politely to himself and thought, “No, Al. It’s Tuesday morning, we’re still in Oakland and you’re batshit crazy.”

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Success.

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Settle a bet: When was the last time the Olympics happened? I’m contending that it was 1988 but Harvey Bars thinks it hasn’t really happened since 704 BC (he’s a purist).

I like pretending that Wikipedia doesn’t exist to prove my sarcastic points.

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I’ll vote for anyone who can make this stop happening to America.

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Does anybody remember the Super Bowl two years ago?
Well, wait until the videos come out tomorrow of Hines Ward up to his elbow in (Jacksonville defensive back, not internet predator cockblocker) Brian Williams’ facemask on a key fourth down play. Remarkably, Williams was called for pass interference even though it was initiated within five yards and Ward fundamentally dragged him into [...]

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“All musicians should write poetry or at least read it if they want to improve their game. Except for people who believe lyrics don’t matter. This is the Brian Billick theory of songwriting: Defense (the music) not offense (lyrics) wins championships (Grammys). The best teams of course have both. And the Ravens were very dull [...]

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It’s Daytona 500 Cologne by Elizabeth Arden!

Now you can smell like an idiot. If you’ll excuse me I’m going to go roll in some dirt.

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Mayweather gives Hatton the Turnbuckle Truffle Shuffle. CLUNK!
 (I secretly hope these posts infuriate Shakespeare Dimaggio. Love it or leave it, pal.)

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