I feel that here at the Suave, we have a certain kinship with Eli Manning. We were there at his wedding. We had his back on that one really tough Christmas. So I feel an obligation to make an official announcement when he procreates. Yup, that’s right. Elisha’s been making a whole different type of Manning-face of late and now he and his better half will be welcoming into the world a blessed child who will no doubt be chosen by the Cleveland Browns with the first overall pick of the 2033 NFL Draft and will then subsequently force a trade to the Tokyo Titans or the Jerusalem Jaguars or wherever the hell they’re playing football in two decades instead of in Los Angeles. Where was I? Oh yeah, the baby-makin’.
Via:
Eli Manning, the Giants starting quarterback, is scheduled become a daddy during the offseason, a team spokesman confirmed. He and Abby, his wife of 2 ½ years, are expecting their first child sometime this spring.
It will be the first child for either of the famed NFL quarterback brothers, including Peyton, the future Hall of Fame quarterback for the Indianapolis Colts. The third Manning brother, Cooper, has already provided three grandchildren, though, for parents Archie and Olivia Manning.
Cooper, you dog you. Who would have guessed that out of all the Manning bros., Coops was the genetic jackhammer. Well, at least now we know were he channels all that ‘God, why am I the weak, crippled Manning and not the laser-rocket armed Manning? WHY GOD WHY!?’ aggression. And hey, that’s good news. As long as not all of them have spina bifida or whatever the hell it is he has, he could be this generations Archie, breaking off batches of NFL QBs at will, then sitting back and watching over the empire from a far. Maybe Eli’s the Fredo of the clan after all. Anywho, on that note, congrats Eli. Now that you’ve got one on the way, maybe you and tole Old Man should finally getting around to having ‘that’ talk…