Now the second saddest day in Seattle history apparently.
A few days ago my beloved Seattle Mariners acquired noted baseball ruffian Milton Bradley for Carlos Silva. Smart baseball fans understood this deal may have actually been a bigger coup than the Cliff Lee deal the team pulled off days earlier. Reactionary, non-smartbaseball fans immediately labeled a deal a coup for the Cubs because Bradley’s some sort of clubhouse cancer baby rapist who spends all his free time reading Mein Kampf and making dirty bombs. And to borrow a phrase from web enthusiast Buzz Bissinger, this is really pissing the shit out of me, so allow me for a moment to kick the truth to the young blog youth:
a) From now on, know that Jack Zduriencik (GMZ or Jay-Z for short) is the currently the best GM in baseball. If he makes a deal with your team just assume your team was in some way swindled.
b) Carlos Silva was the last of the remaining godawful Bill Bavasi signings. If you aren’t familiar with Bavasi’s work in Seattle, this will catch you up. The M’s were going to pay Silva $11.5M next year ($2.5 more than Lee) to essentially be the shittiest long reliever in the history of baseball. Just his presence on the ballclub hurt the team. He was the epitome of an albatross contract. He was dead money.
c) Seattle is built on pitching and great defense. The offense last year was awful. They needed someone who could DH and play some OF. Bradley fits that bill. Since they have pitching depth, this move essentially shifted Silva’s dead money into a bat that has some upside without affecting this year’s free agent budget. Zduriencik basically took a magic wand and touched the head of a fat, useless, overweight bust who last season had an ERA of 8.60 and a WHIP of 1.72 and turned him into someone who could possibly be a commodity. The M’s did send some money to Chicago. From what I’ve read, when the dust settled, as far a new money spent is concerned, the M’s gave Bradley a 2 yr deal worth $6M.
d) I repeat: 8.60 ERA.
e) Now, the crucial part. If the other shoe does in fact drop and Bradley does something batshit crazy like challenge Wakamatsu to a fight or punch Ichiro in the face to make up for Pearl Harbor, he’s 100% absolutely expendable. He will not crash the tickle party that is the Seattle Mariner franchise. He’s not being counted on for 600 at bats. They have enough depth where they can just cut him and move on if it came to that.
