Pic via here.
So, MLB’s best defensive player of 2009, Franklin Gutierrez, didn’t win the Gold Glove award. Worse yet, all around inferior baseball player and former Mariner Adam Jones took home the award instead. Luckily, one of the perks to being a Mariners fan is having the sublime USS Mariner around to talk us irrational Mariner fans down off our ledge of self-righteous hostility. Fo’ real, I’m thinking of getting the Chinese symbol for this paragraph tattooed on the back of my left calf:
You should not care. These are about as meaningful as the teen choice awards. The people who vote on them don’t really put much thought into it, nor do they really know what they’re doing. They don’t represent defensive ability in any real way, shape, or form.
Ok fine. Issue settled. But I still have all this pent up frustration inside of me that I need to direct towards something. Fortunately, today was also the day the Toy Hall O’ Fame announced their class of ’09. Peep this happy horseshit:
In honor of its revolutionary features and impact on pop culture, Nintendo’s original Game Boy has been inducted into The National Toy Hall of Fame. The Game Boy beat out nine other classic toys — including Hot Wheels, Cabbage Patch Kids and the Rubik’s Cube — to earn a spot as one of three inductees in this year’s class. The others? The iconic Big Wheel and the ubiquitous “ball,” which somehow took a decade before getting the green light. Who’s voting on these things, anyway?
**RESEARCH1 ALERT**
The National Toy Hall of Fame opened it’s doors in 1999. The fact that Cabbage Patch Kids are still on the outside looking in is a travesty. CPKs were the the first toy I can remember that had that cutthroat must-have buzz around it. They separated the passive parents from the parents who were willing to pay any price when it came to literally buying in the hopes that their child could someday return their unrequited love. Lives were lost trying to acquire a Cabbage Patch Kid. And this isn’t good enough to please the powers that be at the NTHOF? Not to mention it also spawned a parody that itself belongs in some sort of Hall of Fame. Just another example of the stubborn, old-fashioned, dinosaur media not being able to aptly comprehend the impact of the more progressive and modern day entities that come along. Right? No? Huh, right? I mean, come on!, ‘ball’ just got in?!? And Rubik’s Cube isn’t in yet either? Whaa?
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Whatever, fuck Adam Jones.
1. Wikipedia
