I usually don’t find celebrity hookups all that compelling but if this story is true then I say to Tony Romo, bravo sir. It being reported (by a photo agency, but who cares?) that Romo dumped Jessica Simpson for the chick who repeatedly dropped her gear throughout the seminal (get it?) 80s flick Blame It On Rio. Not familiar with Blame It On Rio? Clearly, you’re either under 25 or your family was poor growing up and did not have HBO. For your sake, I’ll exclude the future references to 1st & 10, Dream On, and Blown Away that I was planning to pepper this post with. But, if this wasn’t made abundantly clear to you throughout your childhood by your upper middle class friends, let me just say, you really missed out.
Blame It On Rio was the kind of film that put hair on your
According to contemporary news stories, special parental consent was required in order to allow the nude scenes featuring Michelle Johnson as she was not yet 18 at the time they were filmed.
Hey, thanks! Mr. and Mrs. Johnson for tainting my childhood memories with semi-legal kiddie porn. It didn’t matter in ‘91, when she seemed really old and sophisticated but now I just feel sleazier than I usually do. Am I allowed to even post that picture above? On second thought, maybe you guys shouldn’t go through with that recommended Google search, if you haven’t already. I don’t want to be the Gary Glitter of the sports blogsphere.
But back to Tony Romo. He made a wise move. There’s no way Jessica Simpson is attractive in five years and there’s no way she bears any sort of resemblance to her younger self in ten. Tony and I were born only four months apart. We’re on the same frequency here. Even if Michelle Johnson is a little long in tooth now and is Matt Williams’s sloppy seconds, what’s the point of being the QB of the Dallas Cowboys if you can’t occasionally use that prestige to sleep with hot C-List celebrities from your childhood?
