With only an 8-foot par putt separating 59-year-old Tom Watson from history, he tensed up. And then he blew up, igniting the pages of a far-too-perfect storybook ending.
Stewart “USA! USA! USA!” Cink carved up his own ending, gutting Watson in a four-hole playoff. Unlike the previous 72 holes, this wasn’t fit for Disney. It was gruesome, like watching Kobe Bryant pummel an 80-year-old Bob Cousy in a one-on-one game.
While Cink had just captured his first major, Watson still owned the bigger story. As a result, this might be the first time a runnerup gets more ink (HA! He said ink!) than the champion.
With that said, here are a slew of headlines to couple with all those sappy Watson features.
- What A Twat-son
- Old Man Throws Chance Into River
- Watson Eagerly Awaits Role Of Ceremonial Golfer
- Another Wrinkle In Watson’s Career, Face
- The Fountain Of Metamucil
- Watson’s Wake
- The Older They Get, The Harder They Suck
- Watson Leaves Dingleberries On Turnberry’s 18th Green
- For Watson, It’s Back To Bingo
- Watson Wrecks Lupica’s World
- An Unhip Finish By Watson
- Watson Prepped For 59 Sleepless Years
- Walking Out To Pasture With Tom Watson
- 59 Ways To Blow A Major
- 59 + 72 = Mission Impossible
- Claret Jug Safe From Creepy Old Hands
- Watson Implodes, Nursing Homes Across US Riot
- Do You Believe In Expiration?
- Watson Too Old For Old Course In 2010?
- Wat More Can You Ask? A Lot
- Fine Wine Looks For Revenge On Watson
- Old Man Finally Looks Like Ass
- Watson Displays Nerves Of Denture-Friendly Jell-O
- My Dad Kicked Your Grandpa’s Ass
