PITTSBURGH – Fresh off his successful pseudo-name change, Pittsburgh mayor Luke Ravenstahl has decided to renounce God and his faith in support of the Steelers as they head to Tampa in two weeks to play the Arizona Cardinals in Super Bowl XLIII.
“Feigning a name change might fly for the conference championship game, but this is the Super Bowl. I needed something bigger. So I went back to the source,” the I’m-not-kidding-you-he’s-28 mayor remarked. “I listened to the local sports talk radio stations for nine hours in my office on Monday and one caller said it would great if since Kurt Warner was such devout Christian and because cardinals are like a megapriests or something, that I would purge all things holy from my life if I were a real fan.”
Ravenstahl, a Roman Catholic (according to his Wikipedia page), wouldn’t get into specifics but did say there would be “no going to church, no praying or kneeling. None of that nonsense.”
When further asked about changing his first name, which is featured prominently in the bible, the mayor paused and replied “What’s a name that wasn’t in the bible? Mario? How about Mario?”
As he was leaving, a reporter asked if he was seriously going to change his name twice in one week.
“You don’t mess with what works.”
