I’ve had some promo ideas for the PGA before, so I’ll just let this one float out into the ether.
The contrast of Phil’s pig-dripping blubber and the svelte blue shadow is gold.
If the event is a Pro-Am, there will be an endless amount of possibilities.
Look for Dan Marino to use his pitching wedge as a hoe and aerate the ninth putting green. Dan, in a haste, will remark that Boomer Esiason’s son is of the “broken generation.”
“I’d never produce a fiberglass-fucked-baby,” Marino would yell.
Look for Mike Golic to refuse a motorized cart and then grab his chest after the second hole, clutching onto the “he’s fat!” moniker. Mike will undoubtedly confront a fate similar to this by hole 16.
Look for John Kruck to show up, get a few laughs and fill his niche — only to retreat to his F-150 and sodomize an entire suitcase of small rodents.
Look for Don Shula to fold a strip steak around his slippery-flipper at hole 14, blow-holing a foamy load onto a crumpled photo of Bill Parcells posing next to an Italian cat.
And that’s probabyly enough . . .
