DirecTV is relentless with this campaign and the bitchofthebunch is that the spots are getting progressively worse and worse. I feel the need to to intervene. I think I’m perfect for crap like this, especially seeing how apparently no scene is off limits.
- Vondie Curtis-Hall, explaining how Economically Viable! DirecTV is (Falling Down).
- Burt Reynolds, as he’s watching Eddie and Rollergirl’s first session (Boogie Nights).
- Patty Duke, any scene (The Miracle Worker).
- Malcolm McDowell, as pictured (A Clockwork Orange).
- James Gandolfini, in the middle of the bathroom fight scene, right before he throws Alabama through the shower door (True Romance).
- Collin Wilcox Paxton, while she’s on the stand (To Kill A Mockingbird).
- Wes Studi, as Magua, immediately before any one of the like 48 times he slashes a Grey Hair’s Achilles’s tendon (Last Of The Mohicans).
- Deon Richmond, “Still wit’ cable?!? Damn! That is whack!” (Not Another Teen Movie).
- Mason Gamble, as he’s being carried and tended to by Jeff Bridges at the beginning of Arlington Road.
- Kent Lutrell, as Ray Brower (Stand By Me).
- Noel Gugliemi, “You ever have your shit pushed in, man??!? That’s what it’s like being with cable!” (Training Day).
- I can’t tell you how much I wish Robert Shaw was still alive.
- Billy Mitchell, the consummate pitch man deserves more endorsements (The King Of Kong).
- Sean Gullette, mid-trepanation (π).
- Chloë Sevigny, either when she’s making sweet love to Casper in Kids or, of course, with Vinny G. in the Brown Bunny.
- Frank Vincent, in the bar (Goodfellas).
- Ken Davitian, in the midst of the hotel fight (Borat).
- Daniel Day-Lewis, No. Don’t EVER consider even thinking about perhaps asking him to break character.
And the one I’d personally like to see made the most:
- Charles Napier, right after the sergeant with the no-effing-around moustache says “Oh GOD!” (The Silence Of The Lambs).
Ok, that’s enough. Suggest away.
