Ryan Church isn’t a Suave virgin.
I’ve discussed him in relation to flowers and scrambled eggs.
But last night’s pussyfooting “concussion slide” might be his ticket into the nonexistent Suave Hall.
Here, let’s examine the play: If not for a history of concussions, Ryan’s attempting to steamroll the handicapped Cubs catcher, right? I mean, Koyie Hill is a paper-cut away from having the dexterity of Mickey Mouse. Is he really going to hold onto the ball?
It was the recurring nightmares of Yunel Escobar’s boney kneecap that forced Ryan to throw on the breaks as he approached home. He then danced to the right, shifted his hips like Elvis, and belly flopped into a game-tying run.
The slide was less about agility and more about being cognizant of an egg-shelled existence.
But, hey, it’s hard to argue with the results. With that said, I present Mr. Church with a personalized video of the now-infamous “concussion slide.”
Boogie on, Ryan.
