With the Olympics coming up soon, I thought it would be proper to talk about my favorite sport sex positions.
So, I plan on giving you a detailed description of the various pleasure points in the world of synchronized swimming perving.
Roll Of Thunder, Hear My Alley Cry
Photoshop this chick out, throw her on the backseat of the Bang Bros. bus and no one would even blink. She even has that shocked look of — “That is going in there” — strewn across her dolled up face. Toes clenched with mouth gaping can only mean one thing: DP
Shooting Tuna Fish In A Barrel
I imagine this scene was recreated on more than one occasion at Mike Tyson’s indoor pool in his Ohio mansion. It would be a ton of work to service that lot of crotch. As a result, it’s obvious that this mammoth pussy-parlay lends itself to an orgy.
Shut up, because I’m not going to riff off of a beyond-stale Vikings boat saga.
Instead, I’m rolling with the soon-to-be-exposed Eastern European sex mafia. This outfit consists of Mehmet “he’s even got a hairy cock” Okur, Marko “I have went from war torn to Lima tearing” Jaric and Šarūnas “I destroyed so much pussy, they made me leave the US” Jasikevičius.
James Morrison Ain’t About To Release Peace On This Frog
In hearth of the man who twirled more bush with his foreskin than any other, I dedicate this final position to James Morrison. No, not that James Morrison — his whiskey dick was actually worse than his faux poetry.
THIS is the James Morrison I’m talking about. Inspired by Yoga and the show 24, Morrison has allegedly been challenging Sting as the leader of the “mysticism-transcends-size” movement.
