Tirico Suave

Chad Ocho Cinco.

[Read more →]

News of Queens man Brad Campeau-Laurion getting booted from Yankee Stadium isn’t exactly shocking to New Yorkers.
If you’ve ever been to a Yankees game, it is impossible to ignore the uneasy sense of nationalism wafting in the air. The real sickos break out American flags — who the fuck carries a flag around? — and [...]

[Read more →]

Here’s a made up conversation from the not-so-distant future involving myself and Millicent, a fictional friend I’ve conjured up strictly for this post, who’s main function in my life is to come over every Saturday and watches new episodes of SNL with me.

San Diego, CA. Sept. 13, 2008. 11:25 P.M.

Millicent: You about ready for the [...]

[Read more →]

Europe seems awesome. From what I gather, everyone smokes weed, countries shut down at noon so every one can nap and titties routinely make their way onto kids programming. As if that weren’t enough, occasionally hosts from hacky hidden camera shows take a beating on camera, even after they point out the cameras to the [...]

[Read more →]

Note to self: Do not share with Craig Sager any juicy gossip about my indiscretions with famous actresses.

Hat Tip: Awful Announcing

[Read more →]

Where did you learn of these magical “Favre-tini” cocktails, exactly?
Come out of the shadows, Terry.
We know you are scavenging around here somewhere, nibbling at The Suave’s bountiful tit.

[Read more →]

According to a Jets brochure, pleasantly plump female fans will be sporting Strahan jerseys at the new stadium in 2010.
Though they haven’t been substantiated, there are also rumors that Lawrence Taylor will come out of retirement to deal coke to the Wall Street boyz in the Coaches Club seats.
(HT): Jetnation

[Read more →]

It’s a sad state of affairs in Miami.
Chad Pennington — the 13th quarterback attempting fill Dan Marino’s Super Bowl-less shoes — might be the organization’s best option since Dan left to elope with Lois Einhorn.
Let’s examine it:

Chad “Garden hose arm” Pennington > Jay Fiedler
Chad “Creationist arm” Pennington > Damon Huard
Chad “Spray-on condom arm” Pennington > [...]

[Read more →]

Seeing as a thousand bald-headed, machismo-oozing Italians attended Jets games last season, you were probably unaware the most famous of them — Ed Anzalone — was missing.
Anzalone, who works for the FDNY, is better known as “Fireman Ed.”
After a neck injury sacked his 2007 season, Ed’s returning to do what he does best in ‘08: [...]

[Read more →]

The word on the streetz is that the Bengals are shopping Rudi Johnson. Now, I’m no footballologist but from what I’ve read in various pamphlets is that 2.9 YPC and a touchdown every three games do not win championships, so I’m assuming the Fightin’ Marvins can’t possibly be looking for anything football related in return, [...]

[Read more →]