There’s an 83.33% chance that the former Seattle Sonics are going to have an absolutely terrible nickname when they relocate to Oklahoma City next season. Here are the name options that NBA has filed for trademark rights to: Barons, Bison, Energy, Marshalls, Thunder and Wind. I’m not sure who was in charge of coming up with possible team names, but both you and I are better at our jobs than he/she is at their’s.
Barons is bad ass and in a rational world, would be the name of choice. First off, it’s original but not obnoxious. Outside of the Birmingham Barons, I can’t really think of another team that uses Barons as their mascot. Second, the proposed color scheme, regardless of team name, is rumored to be black, a darkish gold with some white. Think Missouri basketball. Couple that with a menacing Baron logo, and OKC would have one of the better overall aesthetics in the league, you know, like the complete opposite of the Raptors or Bobcats.
Marshalls is in the same vein as Barons, except that for whatever reason, the powers that be have added a second ‘L’ to the name, which is not only misspelled but also the name of a department store. Verdict: shit name.
The final four choices would be alright if Clay Bennett were looking to name a XFL, AFL or OHL franchise and not one that plays in the NBA. All are in violation of not ending in ‘S’ which always makes it grammatically awkward for anyone on the team to describe their situation in various circumstances. “Despite my earlier trade demands, I just wanted to say I love being an Energy…err, member of the Energy.” And Energy is just terrible team name any way you slice it. Yes it would be the first nickname derived from a scalar physical quantity, unless you count Morris Day and the Time, but I really couldn’t think of a less intimidating name. Bison is ok in theory but comes off as clumsy. Wind and Thunder continue the awful notion that weather phenomena make for a great team name. They don’t. Ever. Hurricanes, Lightning, Heat, Fightin’ Noreasters are all stupid, which is even worse, since Thunder seems to be leading choice right now.
Google Analytics tells me we’ve had 1,942 visitors from Oklahoma, 139 in OKC alone. One of you needs to start a revolution and make sure you don’t end up rooting for the Windy Bison of Energy brought to you by Marshall’s next season.
Sadly, Thunder Is One Of OKC’s Better Name Options
Posted by Harvey Bars · July 26th, 2008 · 5 Comments
Tags: Harvey Bars · NBA · Oklahoma City Windy Bison of Energy
5 responses so far ↓
1 Jimbuktu // Jul 27, 2008 at 12:01 am
you had me at scalar physical quantity.
excellent use of a morris day and the time reference. excellent.
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2 Harvey Bars // Jul 27, 2008 at 1:28 am
Scalar physical quantity > Sklar physical quantity.
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3 Aaron S. // Jul 27, 2008 at 8:42 am
I really liked “Wind.” Really. “Energy” is great too. Whoever there pub. relations group is, they are doing a great job.
But I was thinking something like “Grave Robbers” or “Midnight Stealing Bandit Scum” might be more appropriate………
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4 hef // Jul 27, 2008 at 4:01 pm
While I was a fan of Outlaws, Midnight Stealing Bandit Scum was very good if not too kind. OKC Douchebags? OKC Midnight Packers? Which also gives a nice homo-tint to the team. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
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5 scoobs // Jul 31, 2008 at 3:51 am
I am so glad that people agree with me. The names are not that great. I hate them. I even sent an email to the team complaining. They probably won’t care, but if enough people tell them how horrible the names are….maybe they’ll listen. A bad name will not only be embarrassing for the team and state, but it will also damage their product sales.
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