Tirico Suave

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It’s amazing the amount of damage that a vagina can cause. Gaining access and entering Madonna’s giant, cavernous, 67 year old airplane hangar of a snatch may end up costing A-Rod more than half of his accumulated fortune if his wife Cynthia decides to files for divorce. I certainly didn’t need any further inspiration to avoid any type of nuptials, but this should just about eliminate the sliver of hope that some jezebel will come and sweep me off my feet in hope of becoming Mrs. Bars. No devil woman is going to hijack half off the cash I pull down from these banner ads that adorn this site. Seriously? More than half? I’m not saying she isn’t entitled to a substantial settlement, I mean if a guy’s going to go around saying stupid shit like ‘I do’ without signing a prenup, he deserves some punishment. But for a judge to say that she’s worth more to that relationship than ARod is utterly godfucking ridiculous. What? Was she getting up at 5am every morning of the offseason, grabbing the Fungo, and hitting him grounders? Absurd.