I was in Austin, TX last night for one of my tri-annual bat watching expeditions, when I had my personal assistant Arthur run into a local liquor store to pick me up a sixer of Mike’s Wicked Crazy Grape Drink so I could enjoy the night’s upcoming events in the right state of mind. When Arthur came back, along with my elixir, he had another surprise for me. He said the person in front of him on line was Bears’ running back Cedric Benson, who was making a purchase of his own. Arthur noticed that Benson left behind a notebook which he figured at the time was his playbook. Knowing that I’m both a Lions fan and someone who has tremendous clout in the sport world, Art, the unapologetic sycophant that he is, covertly snagged it and brought it back to me.
Turns out it was just Benson’s personal notebook and while most of the pages were filled with nothing more than love letters to Megan Fox and plays designed to gain 3.4 yards per carry, there was one page I found intriguing, so I scanned it and decided to post it here. It looks like Benson’s summer of drunken shenanigans has only begun.
