Tirico Suave

So I’ve been using my economic stimulus check in the best way I see fit: by wasting it on things I don’t need or will ever use. For instance, I talked myself into spending whatever it took to win this authentic Lions’ Don Majkowski jersey on eBay.

I mean, I don’t even recall the Majik man playing for the Lions so what were the chances that a) this would become available again (authentic nonetheless) and b) be available at a time when I’m given a free $600 from the government? Plus, after I showed Dorn the link, he recounted me with the tale of the time that he lost out on a Jim McMahon Chargers jersey because he wouldn’t pay a couple extra bucks and how it still haunts and eats him up to this day. So, after being outbid this afternoon, I decide I’m going to be sneaky eBay guy and place a bid an hour before the auction ends, which was 1 a.m. PST. So at midnight, I place my bid of $25.67. I know, shut up, fuck you. Anyway, I’m the high bidder. Hop in the shower. Do some light reading. Watch some tv. Refresh. 30 mins to go. High bidder. Putz around. Check a few sites. Read some more. Refresh. 15 mins. to go. High bidder. Read. Blah. Email. Blah. Think of possible instances where I could maybe wear this jersey, Refresh. 5 mins to go. High bidder. Do I want to go to $30 just in case? Nah, I should be good. Refresh. 2 mins to go. High bidder. Refresh. 1 min to go. High bidder. Refresh 30 secs to go. High bidder. Refresh. 15 secs to go. High bidder. Sweet! Refresh………..Sorry, you were outbid. This item sold to vyoshida for US $26.67. Go fist yourself, eBay user vyoshida.