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A Rare Instance Where I Willingly Defend A Yankee

Posted by Harvey Bars · May 13th, 2008

Joba Chamberlain

Of course, it’s on the condition that I get to bash an old Yankee but it’s still progress. Recently elected Hall of Famer Rich Gossage is feeling nostalgic about the good ol’ days. Here’s some of what he had to say about Joba Chamberlain’s displays of emotion of the baseball in this article:

“There’s no place for it in the game. I will stand by that and I love Joba Chamberlain. I’m with him down in spring training. He’s a great kid, but no one is passing the torch today. Nobody talks to them. When I broke into the big leagues, I didn’t say two words all year.”

Here’s a sampling of what was going on in the world when Gossage broke into the big leagues:

  • U.S. President Richard Nixon orders the development of a space shuttle program.
  • U.S. airlines begin mandatory inspection of passengers and baggage.
  • The Godfather is released in cinemas in the USA.
  • Watergate.
  • George Carlin is arrested for public obscenity, for reciting his “Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television” at Summerfest.
  • The last U.S. ground troops are withdrawn from Vietnam.
  • The first episode of The Price Is Right is hosted on CBS by Bob Barker.
  • Atari releases Pong.
  • The Pittsburgh Steelers win their first ever post-season NFL game.
  • Harry Truman dies.

    Times have changed, Johnny Cakes. Please inform all the old timers that not everything was better when you were playing and that not every old ballplayer displayed a ton of tact on the field. At least Joe Girardi chimed in with a voice of reason:

    “That’s who he is. He’s not showing anyone up. He’s going to show emotion. He didn’t look at David Dellucci. He looked into our dugout.”

    Not good enough for the Goose (I refuse to make a gander joke here):

    “I’m old school, I’m sorry, I didn’t see [Dellucci] celebrating when he hit the home run.”

    You’re have an old school mentality? Get the fuck out of here! Really? Besides, it’s not Joba’s fault that Delucci hit 29 homeruns in Texas in 2005 and now he thinks he’s better than he is. He has 21 homers in the last three seasons combined. When Delucci goes yard, he should grab a bottle of champagne celebrate like Brandi Chastain on PCP.

    At least he didn’t mention any of that Yankee way bullshit that all the old guys like to talk about….wait a minute, let me just finish the article….oh fuck me:

    “That’s just not the Yankee way, what Joba did. Let everyone else do that stuff, but not a Yankee. What I don’t understand is, the kid’s got the greatest mentor in the world in Mariano [Rivera]. He’s one of the leaders of the team, so you’d think it wouldn’t happen on that team.”

    Luckily, I called in a few favors and found a copy of the Yankee Way, a doctrine which was written on a dried up piece of Lou Gehrig’s skin in Yogi Berra’s blood that hangs above the door of the Yanks’ locker room:

  • If Derek Jeter wants to fist your girlfriend, not only will you let him, it will be an honor.
  • Never, ever show emotion on the field, unless you’re Paul O’Neill and you oppose the umpire’s call, in which case you’re allowed to throw down your helmet as hard as possible and proceed to throw an over the top temper tantrum.
  • This franchise won 20 or so championships when there was like seven teams in the league and before most of you were even born, so therefore it’s an honor to play here. Remember, the players on the other 29 ballclubs view playing for their teams as pure waterboard-esque torture.
  • None of these rules apply to ownership, who have the right to curse freely towards the media and wish malicious harm on construction workers if they so choose.

    Please Goose, move on to nobler causes of which you probably have a more relevant opinion on.

    • Tags: Back in my day...... · Goose Gossage · Harvey Bars · High Horse · Joba Chamberlain · MLB

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