By now, you may have heard that Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds have announced that they are engaged. I have to admit I’m taking this news pretty hard since not only is ScarJo on my list of Five Girls I Can Sleep With And My Girlfriend Can’t Get Mad At, she was my #1. Worse even, is that I feel I’m somewhat to blame. A few years back when Reynolds was Alanis Morissette’s new Dave Coulier, I kept saying “Can’t Reynolds do better than that?” and he must have heard me because now he’s gone and scooped up m’lady. But I’m trying to be the bigger man about this, so I’ve put together this proposal: I will give this sacred union my blessing if Scarlett returns my favor and puts me in her five. I don’t think that’s asking a lot. I’m a blogger on the way up. I saw some show on Home Box Office the other day that said blogs are the future of everything. In like two years, when I’m promoting my third book and the Tirico Suave action figures become are the new Tickle Me Furbies, I’ll probably be too big for her anyway.
6 responses so far ↓
1 Shakespeare DiMaggio // May 6, 2008 at 9:53 am
Tirico Suave action figures would be incredible.
2 Harvey Bars // May 6, 2008 at 9:55 am
The Shakespeare one would definitely come dressed in a flannel and jeans but without any shoes.
3 Scarlett Johansson // May 6, 2008 at 10:07 am
Awwww….you’re a sweetheart and I find anonymous faceless blogger types very attractive. I agree. Here’s my new five:
1. Woody Allen
2. Tom Waits
3. Harvey Bars
4. Barack Obama
5. Kal Penn
4 Roger Dorn // May 6, 2008 at 10:52 am
Good news. The first line of Shakespeare DiMaggio figures are done.
http://www.packrat-toyz.com/images/Dragon/WWII%20Americans/70217%20Big%20Joe.jpg
5 Adam // May 7, 2008 at 11:33 am
You wanna know something that pisses me off? Scarlett was originally supposed to be nude in the classic piece of American cinema called “The Island.” Some camera guy on set convinced her it wasnt necessary for the scene, so they cut it. Douchebag of the century? I think so.
6 Harvey Bars // May 7, 2008 at 12:00 pm
This has not been a good week for ScarJo related tidbits.
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