Tirico Suave

In my head, I like to picture Brian Cashman, at the end of an 18 hour workday, sitting at his desk, reading an article like this one, and just thinking to himself “For fuck’s sake, I survived the old man’s wrath all these years, and just when I think I’ll finally be able to try to run this franchise like I’m supposed to, along comes this moron to muck it all up. Doesn’t he keep ANYTHING behind closed doors?!?! Does he not have any business training what so ever? Now I have to call Newsday and give a statement, regarding something we’ve clearly gone over on several OCCASIONS! Maybe if he didn’t insist on watching the Ghost Whisperer during staff meetings, we wouldn’t have this type of internal conflict! Fuck! Balls! Ass! AAAAARRGRGRH!!!!” (bashes his own head with Robinson Cano bobblehead until he knocks himself out).