Besides, this was actually just an elaborate ploy to find the worst possible way to drive up our site traffic. Sucker, you fell for it! Six extra clicks for us! Plus I hear bickering back and forth with your readers and calling them names is a GREAT way to build readership.

As far as medical jargon/references, it’s not like we have an editor and we’ve already pink slipped our imaginary fact checker (see comment #2), so we pretty much have to rely on other sources, credible, sophisticated or otherwise. But in the future, if you see me or anyone else on here misspeak about Shelley Duncan’s Nutcracker syndrome or Suzyn Waldman’s Complexes Olliousmeaditus, then by all means, inform us of the errors of our ways.

“ONE GODDAMN MINUTE NURSE! I’M UNSUCCESSFULLY TRYING TO PUT AN AMATEUR WRITER IN HIS PLACE BECAUSE HE PUT HANK STEINBRENNER’S HEAD ON A MOVIE POSTER AND INSISTS ON USING THE TERM DEAD ARM! SURGERY CAN WAIT!”

First off, let me spoonfeed this to you. Open up, here’s comes the airplane….:

“….this Ronco do-it-yourself sports website.”

Blog
Pronunciation:
\ˈblog, ˈbläg\
Function:
noun
Etymology:
short for Weblog
Date:
1999

: a Web site that contains an online personal journal with reflections, comments, and often hyperlinks provided by the writer

Great. Let’s move on.

Let me ask a personal question, did your grandfather or someone close to you fight a life long battle with dead arm syndrome only to ultimately succumb to this ravenous disease and you saw how DAS can tear apart a family at it’s roots and this is why you’re taking this so personally? Because, pretty much every credible news outlet used the phrase ‘dead arm’ but for whatever retarded reason, you found it to be an egregious move on my part to use this phrase here. Sorry, my SIX sources, which included ESPN, the NY Times, MLB.com and USAToday, weren’t enough for you. Maybe you’d prefer a direct quote from Posada himself:
Posada: “I’m not 100 percent. I’m not helping the team out. It’s just as simple as that.” As for how it feels, he said: “Dead, like you’ve got no strength.”

It’s nice of you to hold this site to such high standards, but let me show you some figures that I just crunched using my Rank-o-Matic 3000 machine that I keep right under my Dead Head sign at my desk:

Sports Website Rankings:
1. ESPN
2. CNNSI
3. The Sporting News
….
314,502. Tirico Suave

And I’m probably being generous.

Of course you did…in spite of the fact that you have no clue as to the definition of dead arm syndrome or how it may or may not apply to Mr. Posada. You simply relied on the 6 “unsophisticated sites” (your term, not mine) to provide you with all the data you need to perpetuate the myth that Jorge has dead arm syndrome.
“That’s Carrot-Top-prop-like clever.”
I am flattered by your kind words. That said, I’ve got to get back to the operating room. You carry on with your important work on this Ronco do-it-yourself sports website.

Yes, aside from conjuring up a completely new term to get the approval of every douche nozzle Yankee fan just entering the Phallic Stage, I found the term ‘dead arm’ appropriate to use.

“Dead head”. I see what you did there. That’s Carrot-Top-prop-like clever.

Unsophisticated Site 1

Unsophisticated Site 2

Unsophisticated Site 3

Unsophisticated Site 4

Unsophisticated Site 5

Unsophisticated Site 6

I can’t speak for the rest of the staff, but the only ‘Cuse alum I get a boner for is Kirby Dar Dar, but that’s because I really like saying his name.

Thanks for your feedback. Allow us to retort.

1. We empathize with your childlike crankiness. If we’d stayed up past midnight watching our favorite sports club lose to their bitter rival on national television, we’d probably be somewhat distressed ourselves. Also, we couldn’t imagine what it must be like to watch your team’s number one pitching prospect give up six earned runs in only two innings, so again, we won’t take anything personal. Besides it’s not like you almost got Johan Santana for him, or anything of the sort.

2. We are not on the collective penis of Boston or any other baseball franchise. If John Henry, Tom Werner, or Larry Lucchino were on their deathbed and decided to turn over ownership duties to one of their borderline retarded sons who had little or no baseball experience, we’d surely mock them as well.

3. You’re right! Posada is 36! Our fact checker was able to confirm that the starting catcher for the Yankees, who’s in the first year of a four year deal, has a dead arm and couldn’t even throw out a stealing David Ortiz if he was standing on the pitcher’s mound, but failed to double-check the age. We apologize for the oversight and assure you that the person responsible for the error will be reprimanded.

4. Fuckface! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.

Sincerely,
The TS Staff