Hank Steinbrenner is a gift from the heavens. There really is no other way to put it. Every single time he opens his mouth, he spews pure gold. The guy has absolutely no filter. The target of his latest barbs is Gino Castignoli, the construction worker who, earlier this week, admitted to burying a Red Sox jersey into the concrete underneath the visitor’s dugout of the new Yankee Stadium. Yes, the part owner and future CEO of arguably the most prestigious franchise in all of sports is now embroiled in a war of words with a construction worker. After a few of Castignoli’s co-workers unearthed the David Ortiz jersey that he planted last year, Steinbrenner had this to say:
“I hope his coworkers kick the shit out of him. It’s a bunch of bullshit.”
Not to be outdone, Castignoli, who according to the article once plead guilty to being involved with a gambling operation that had ties to the Gambino crime family (this just keeps getting better), retorted with this gem:
“So, then, why is he making such a big stink about it? If it’s no big deal, why not let it lay? Apparently, it’s bothering him. Tell Hank he can come meet me if he wants to try - and tell him to bring [catcher Jorge] Posada, because he’s the one Yankee I can’t stand.”
The way I see it, Hank is hoping that Castignoli’s’s co-workers do the dirty work while Gino is willing to take on both Hank and his 38 year old dead-armed catcher. Score one for the common man. And aside from the vast amounts of obvious entertainment this story provides, what I really find fascinating about all this is how in the world did a guy from the Bronx named Gino Castignoli become a Red Sox fan? That has to be a Chaminade/Appalachian St. level upset.
10 responses so far ↓
1 mike // Apr 14, 2008 at 10:53 am
Tirico,
get off boston’s dick….anyway, Posada is 36 yrs. old. Get your facts straight fuckface
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2 Harvey Bars // Apr 14, 2008 at 12:03 pm
Dear Valued Tirico Suave Reader Mike,
Thanks for your feedback. Allow us to retort.
1. We empathize with your childlike crankiness. If we’d stayed up past midnight watching our favorite sports club lose to their bitter rival on national television, we’d probably be somewhat distressed ourselves. Also, we couldn’t imagine what it must be like to watch your team’s number one pitching prospect give up six earned runs in only two innings, so again, we won’t take anything personal. Besides it’s not like you almost got Johan Santana for him, or anything of the sort.
2. We are not on the collective penis of Boston or any other baseball franchise. If John Henry, Tom Werner, or Larry Lucchino were on their deathbed and decided to turn over ownership duties to one of their borderline retarded sons who had little or no baseball experience, we’d surely mock them as well.
3. You’re right! Posada is 36! Our fact checker was able to confirm that the starting catcher for the Yankees, who’s in the first year of a four year deal, has a dead arm and couldn’t even throw out a stealing David Ortiz if he was standing on the pitcher’s mound, but failed to double-check the age. We apologize for the oversight and assure you that the person responsible for the error will be reprimanded.
4. Fuckface! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.
Sincerely,
The TS Staff
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3 Purplejig // Apr 14, 2008 at 4:28 pm
“dead arm”? Such sophisticated medical jargon for a bunch of tools with a boner for a short, fat Syracuse graduate.
Good show TS.
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4 Harvey Bars // Apr 14, 2008 at 7:57 pm
O Pray tell my good fellow, what sort of low brow, juvenile web domain is this?
Unsophisticated Site 1
Unsophisticated Site 2
Unsophisticated Site 3
Unsophisticated Site 4
Unsophisticated Site 5
Unsophisticated Site 6
I can’t speak for the rest of the staff, but the only ‘Cuse alum I get a boner for is Kirby Dar Dar, but that’s because I really like saying his name.
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5 purplejig // Apr 17, 2008 at 10:16 am
Oh, I see. Because the rest of the media a-holes that provide you with masturbatory fodder use the term “dead arm”, that makes it appropriate.
The title, “dead head” clearly adorns your desk.
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6 Harvey Bars // Apr 17, 2008 at 10:29 am
Take that media!
Yes, aside from conjuring up a completely new term to get the approval of every douche nozzle Yankee fan just entering the Phallic Stage, I found the term ‘dead arm’ appropriate to use.
“Dead head”. I see what you did there. That’s Carrot-Top-prop-like clever.
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7 purplejig // Apr 18, 2008 at 6:56 am
“..I found the term ‘dead arm’ appropriate to use.
Of course you did…in spite of the fact that you have no clue as to the definition of dead arm syndrome or how it may or may not apply to Mr. Posada. You simply relied on the 6 “unsophisticated sites” (your term, not mine) to provide you with all the data you need to perpetuate the myth that Jorge has dead arm syndrome.
“That’s Carrot-Top-prop-like clever.”
I am flattered by your kind words. That said, I’ve got to get back to the operating room. You carry on with your important work on this Ronco do-it-yourself sports website.
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8 Harvey Bars // Apr 18, 2008 at 7:55 am
“Doctor Purplejig, the patient is lapsing into a coma, we need you in surgery STAT!”
“ONE GODDAMN MINUTE NURSE! I’M UNSUCCESSFULLY TRYING TO PUT AN AMATEUR WRITER IN HIS PLACE BECAUSE HE PUT HANK STEINBRENNER’S HEAD ON A MOVIE POSTER AND INSISTS ON USING THE TERM DEAD ARM! SURGERY CAN WAIT!”
First off, let me spoonfeed this to you. Open up, here’s comes the airplane….:
“….this Ronco do-it-yourself sports website.”
Blog
Pronunciation:
\ˈblog, ˈbläg\
Function:
noun
Etymology:
short for Weblog
Date:
1999
: a Web site that contains an online personal journal with reflections, comments, and often hyperlinks provided by the writer
Great. Let’s move on.
Let me ask a personal question, did your grandfather or someone close to you fight a life long battle with dead arm syndrome only to ultimately succumb to this ravenous disease and you saw how DAS can tear apart a family at it’s roots and this is why you’re taking this so personally? Because, pretty much every credible news outlet used the phrase ‘dead arm’ but for whatever retarded reason, you found it to be an egregious move on my part to use this phrase here. Sorry, my SIX sources, which included ESPN, the NY Times, MLB.com and USAToday, weren’t enough for you. Maybe you’d prefer a direct quote from Posada himself:
Posada: “I’m not 100 percent. I’m not helping the team out. It’s just as simple as that.” As for how it feels, he said: “Dead, like you’ve got no strength.”
It’s nice of you to hold this site to such high standards, but let me show you some figures that I just crunched using my Rank-o-Matic 3000 machine that I keep right under my Dead Head sign at my desk:
Sports Website Rankings:
1. ESPN
2. CNNSI
3. The Sporting News
….
314,502. Tirico Suave
And I’m probably being generous.
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9 purplejig // Apr 18, 2008 at 8:46 am
“: a Web site that contains an online personal journal with reflections, comments, and often hyperlinks provided by the writer “….a WHAT that contains an online………….? I thought so.
Truthfully, I don’t think you are being too generous. I’m obviously HERE reading and taking the time to respond to your musings. I certainly don’t do that with the trolls at the sites you mentioned (namely because most of those jerkoffs like John Saunders, Mike Lupica, Gene Wojopolack, etc are too chicken to entertain email from mere mortals).
All right, I admit it……….your input might have been somewhat entertaining. I won’t badger you further with this, though it does piss me off when medical diagnoses are thrown about by the press without regard for their appropriateness.
And yes, I am a “douche nozzle Yankee fan”.
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10 Harvey Bars // Apr 18, 2008 at 10:03 am
Thank God. I’m exhausted (see today’s Padres’ post). If this went on any longer, I may have started making airline peanut jokes or smashing watermelons.
Besides, this was actually just an elaborate ploy to find the worst possible way to drive up our site traffic. Sucker, you fell for it! Six extra clicks for us! Plus I hear bickering back and forth with your readers and calling them names is a GREAT way to build readership.
As far as medical jargon/references, it’s not like we have an editor and we’ve already pink slipped our imaginary fact checker (see comment #2), so we pretty much have to rely on other sources, credible, sophisticated or otherwise. But in the future, if you see me or anyone else on here misspeak about Shelley Duncan’s Nutcracker syndrome or Suzyn Waldman’s Complexes Olliousmeaditus, then by all means, inform us of the errors of our ways.
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