Just when we think we’ve run out of new and creative ways to arbitrarily rank and objectify women, along comes New York governor Eliot Spitzer, who this week, after being linked to a prostitution ring, has brought to the masses the Emperor’s Club Diamond Rating. We, here at Tirico Suave, have taken these ratings and applied them to the women of the sports world, in order to help give a better understanding of this new system to those who may not be as familiar with it as we are. (Actually, we’re just hoping that Trev Alberts needs material for his show this week and analyzes this post as well.)
Seven Diamonds: Erin Andrews
(Note: Tirico Suave is has been in existence for five months now and we have yet to post a gratuitous picture of Erin Andrews, so we’re definitely happy to get that monkey of our back.)
Others Seven Diamond Girls: Alison Stokke, Tim Tebow’s girl, Anna Kournikova.
Six Diamonds: Amanda Beard
Others Six Diamond Girls: Maria Sharapova, Ashley Force, Stacy Kiebler.
Five Diamonds: Jennie Finch
Others Five Diamond Girls: Danica Patrick, Amy Taylor, Lisa Guerrero.
Four Diamonds: Heather Mitts
Others Four Diamond Girls: Rachel Nichols, Misty May, Gabrielle Reece.
Three Diamonds: Martina Hingis
Others Three Diamond Girls: Sue Bird, Jillian Barberie, Michelle Wie.
Two Diamonds: Margo Dydek
Others Two Diamond Girls: Andrea Kramer, Linda Cohn, Tyronne Lue.
One Diamond: Holley Mangold
Others One Diamond Girls: Pat Summit, Martha Burk, Marge Schott.
