Tirico Suave

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Tirico Suave

Rating The Women Of Sport, Eliot Spitzer Style

Posted by Harvey Bars · March 14th, 2008 · 3 Comments

Just when we think we’ve run out of new and creative ways to arbitrarily rank and objectify women, along comes New York governor Eliot Spitzer, who this week, after being linked to a prostitution ring, has brought to the masses the Emperor’s Club Diamond Rating. We, here at Tirico Suave, have taken these ratings and applied them to the women of the sports world, in order to help give a better understanding of this new system to those who may not be as familiar with it as we are. (Actually, we’re just hoping that Trev Alberts needs material for his show this week and analyzes this post as well.)

Seven Diamonds: Erin Andrews
(Note: Tirico Suave is has been in existence for five months now and we have yet to post a gratuitous picture of Erin Andrews, so we’re definitely happy to get that monkey of our back.)

Eliot Spitzer - Erin Andrews

Others Seven Diamond Girls: Alison Stokke, Tim Tebow’s girl, Anna Kournikova.

Six Diamonds: Amanda Beard

Eliot Spitzer - Amanda Beard

Others Six Diamond Girls: Maria Sharapova, Ashley Force, Stacy Kiebler.

Five Diamonds: Jennie Finch
Eliot Spitzer - Jennie Finch

Others Five Diamond Girls: Danica Patrick, Amy Taylor, Lisa Guerrero.

Four Diamonds: Heather Mitts

Eliot Spitzer - Heather Mitts

Others Four Diamond Girls: Rachel Nichols, Misty May, Gabrielle Reece.

Three Diamonds: Martina Hingis

Eliot Spitzer - Martina Hingis

Others Three Diamond Girls: Sue Bird, Jillian Barberie, Michelle Wie.

Two Diamonds: Margo Dydek

Eliot Spitzer - Margo Dydek

Others Two Diamond Girls: Andrea Kramer, Linda Cohn, Tyronne Lue.

One Diamond: Holley Mangold

Eliot Spitzer - Holley Mangold

Others One Diamond Girls: Pat Summit, Martha Burk, Marge Schott.

Tags: Harvey Bars · Ladies · TV · Tennis

3 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Mr. Rosewater // Mar 14, 2008 at 9:17 pm

    quality $h1t.

    [Reply]

  • 2 David // Mar 18, 2008 at 12:49 am

    The Kiebler picture opened so slow it reminded me of AOL back in 1996…one line of pixels at a time. Made it that much more enjoyable! Thanks!

    [Reply]

  • 3 Vonbudel // Oct 1, 2008 at 7:49 am

    Definitely, your most underrated post. Well done.

    [Reply]

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